Religious Tech Fans Gifts

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

Jesus Saves

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

Guru Needs Tech Support

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

'Click on the icon.'

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

"For your penance, text me 400 Hail Marys."

"Ok - now press, 'saved'."

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.

'Glory be! Father Ignatius has been enabled.'