Religious Technophiles Gifts

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

Grandma's caf

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Why god isn't listening...

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"Technology moving too fast."

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."