Religious Technophiles Gifts

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

Grandma's caf

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

Why god isn't listening...

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Invention of the Toilet

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

Prpr 2 Skype thy Mkr.

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

"Technology moving too fast."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'