Spiritual Technophile Gifts

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

Computer Head

"The record player is skipping again."

Copier is hypnotizing office worker.

Cable Bill.

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

You Have 1 New Messages

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

The Line-up

Holy phone

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Palm Top Readings

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"I have no problem with A.I."

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

'You're never alone when you've got a phone.'

We're replacing you with a robot that also does nothing, but does it more efficiently.

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Isn't that cute? - She has an imaginary Facebook friend!'

Man says 'It's time to embrace new technology', computer replies: 'I'm not hugging you until you get these sticky notes off me.'

"It's cash. It's kind of like a debit card."