Heavenly Technophobe Gifts

'Oh no... not here too!'

Grandma's caf

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"I hate this damn thing!"

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"Technology moving too fast."

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'