Heavenly Technophobe T-Shirts

'Oh no... not here too!'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"Hey! Get back here!"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"I hate this damn thing!"

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

And on the 7th Day, he put in his bid.

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"