Smartphone Spiritualist Pillows

Priest prays to phone.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

FAQs.

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Did you have a cat?"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"All the celebrities come here."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

Terms and conditions

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"