Tech-savvy Deity Dilettante Pillows

Religion and technology.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'We've re-branded.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

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'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

Internet Search- Find God

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'Does it come with any Apps'

Divine Cell

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."