Tech-savvy Deity Dilettante Pillows

Religion and technology.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'We've re-branded.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

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"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

Internet Search- Find God

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'Does it come with any Apps'

Divine Cell

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."