Tech-savvy Theologian Pillows

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"One of you will unfriend me."

"Well, Rachel... I suppose you could say that Moses downloaded the commandments from the cloud."

'Does it come with any Apps'

'Everyone turn to psalm 23 on his or her e-reader.'

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

"This bush is lit."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"He calls it the eBible."

'Behold, for I have received a text message.'

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"

"I'm on deuteronomy."

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

" think it's a software glitch, I'm supposed to be stored in the cloud."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'