Techy Theologian Pillows

Second united church of the internet: Make Jesus your screen savior

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Follow God On Twitter

Albertus Magnus

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

If George Lucas had written the Bible...

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Why god isn't listening...

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

'Now they're not set in stone...'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

'Does it come with any Apps'

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

Moses finds a map with a 'you are here'.

"He calls it the eBible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

Moses attempted to initiate the frog plague on his own.

John Wesley

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'