Theology Geek Pillows

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John Wesley

"No, they don't come into effect from midnight. They come into effect from now!"

Moses finds a map with a 'you are here'.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Albertus Magnus

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

Dogma

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Mine's bigger than yours."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Is there a God? God knows...'

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Promised Land Signpost

Pre-nuptual Nativity

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'