Theology Enthusiast Pillows

'You realize, it may take us a while to get up to code.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Oh no, I'm sure they'll believe me...but maybe you could sign them just in case?'

"What if the meek don't want it?"

'Lapse of judgement day'

'You didn't bring any war toys did you?'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'I'm glad my name's not 'thou'.'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'I don't know why they keep expecting me to destroy the earth. They're doing a great job on their own.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'The trouble with monotheism is that you can never get a second opinion.'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

The Gospel according to . . .

Although tragic for her family, being turned into salt made Lot's wife very popular with cows.

'Let your people go? - That would destabilize the whole REGION!'

'The manna? Oh, the manna is great -- Now, about our housing problem....'

'I don't know -- are you sure Adam is mature enough for a relationship?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

"If your god wants me to believe in him, he should exist."

"Pass the salt, will you, Lot.

Menno Simons (Mennonism)

"Oh , shoot - how could I have forgotten to tell them about the dinosaurs?"

Crime Scene in the Garden of Eden

"So, once again, we have agreed to disagree."

"Everyone wants to known what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."

In the beginning God created the heavens and SKIP INTRO

"If God is omnipotent and wholly good, whence evil?!?"

After you've created the world in 6 days...

"The internet begs to differ."

'Okay, we'll get these down first, and work out the details later.'

'Honestly, I can't take you anywhere.'

'Does that mean that Mary was a surrogate mother?'