Theology Enthusiast Pillows

'You realize, it may take us a while to get up to code.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Oh no, I'm sure they'll believe me...but maybe you could sign them just in case?'

"What if the meek don't want it?"

'I'm glad my name's not 'thou'.'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'You didn't bring any war toys did you?'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Lapse of judgement day'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'I don't know why they keep expecting me to destroy the earth. They're doing a great job on their own.'

"Hey, Jesus! 'I am your Father!'"

'The trouble with monotheism is that you can never get a second opinion.'

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

The Gospel according to . . .

'Let your people go? - That would destabilize the whole REGION!'

"A good paper, except that it's 'no room at the inn'..."

'The manna? Oh, the manna is great -- Now, about our housing problem....'

Although tragic for her family, being turned into salt made Lot's wife very popular with cows.

"If your god wants me to believe in him, he should exist."

"Pass the salt, will you, Lot.

'I don't know -- are you sure Adam is mature enough for a relationship?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

The Pope Code

"Wait a minute! - First you say, 'Lay up treasures in Heaven,' and then you say, 'You can't take it with you'!"

'Free will isn't either a cop-out!'

"So, once again, we have agreed to disagree."

In the beginning God created the heavens and SKIP INTRO

'Does that mean that Mary was a surrogate mother?'

"If God is omnipotent and wholly good, whence evil?!?"

Priest

"The internet begs to differ."