Theology Enthusiasts Pillows

"One more round and then we should probably order."

"'Thou shalt not covet ______'? Aren't we getting a little specific, Lord?"

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

A lightning bolt bounces from a church and hits a house.

Promised Land Signpost

'This should be good -- Adam just claimed seniority.'

'I told you it would be like this!'

'Since I finished that, everything seems an anticlimax...'

"I'm not 'coercing' anyone. I'm just explaining what you must do to avoid going to hell."

"After last week's incident, I'd like to talk about one of the lesser-known Commandments - Thou Shalt Not Heckle."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

Dogma

Priest

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Ten Commandments

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Is there a God? God knows...'