Theology Nerd Pillows

''Commandments' is fine. But why not jazz it up and call them 'The top ten no-no's'?'

God's bathroom.

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

If George Lucas had written the Bible...

"If he won't eat it like that, just cut it up and mix it with his Jell-O."

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

'Now they're not set in stone...'

Free Samples!

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

Priest

Dogma

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"God works in mysterious ways."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Please take your receipt!'

Max Weber

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."