Theology Geek Gifts

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John Wesley

"That's not the type of ark I was talking about."

"No, they don't come into effect from midnight. They come into effect from now!"

Moses finds a map with a 'you are here'.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Albertus Magnus

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"OMG, LOL!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Dogma

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

The Thinker. The Listener

"Mine's bigger than yours."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Promised Land Signpost