Techie With A Love For Theology Gifts

'And now the first and fifth characters of your password.'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Follow God On Twitter

How to create a password you can remember...

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Albertus Magnus

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Now they're not set in stone...'

Why god isn't listening...

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'Does it come with any Apps'

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

"He calls it the eBible."

Moses finds a map with a 'you are here'.

Moses attempted to initiate the frog plague on his own.

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

John Wesley

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

"You've only got twelve followers? You really need to look at your social networking optimisation!"