Tech-savvy Theologian Gifts

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"One of you will unfriend me."

"Well, Rachel... I suppose you could say that Moses downloaded the commandments from the cloud."

'Does it come with any Apps'

'Everyone turn to psalm 23 on his or her e-reader.'

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

"This bush is lit."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"He calls it the eBible."

'Behold, for I have received a text message.'

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"

"I'm on deuteronomy."

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

" think it's a software glitch, I'm supposed to be stored in the cloud."

Modern Temptation

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'