Tech-savvy Catholic Gifts

'Now the Pope's on Twitter, do you think he'll have a Papal account?'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

Follow God On Twitter

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Does it come with any Apps'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."