Tech-savvy Theologians Gifts

I tried to call 911, but do you know how hard it is to get reception inside a whale?

Benedict XVI joins 'Facebook' and instructs his clergy to use all forms of modern technology to reach a wider audience.

"The pastor asked if you would turn the Wi-Fi off during services, it helps people focus on what he's saying."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

Follow God On Twitter

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"At what age can we expect him to understand digital technology?"

RunningBear@Arrowhead.com.

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

'Does it come with any Apps'

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

Jesus Saves

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"He calls it the eBible."

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

Moses attempted to initiate the frog plague on his own.

"Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"Siri, how do I build a cabin with no freakin' tools?"

'Click on the icon.'

"That brings us to your search history."

"You've only got twelve followers? You really need to look at your social networking optimisation!"