Techie Theologians Gifts

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

Prpr 2 Skype thy Mkr.

Hate Platforms

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Thomas Cranmer

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

"God's sent us some chocolates."

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

Albertus Magnus

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

Heavenly meetings.

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

Religious toilets.

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"We never discuss religion."

"We pride ourself on diversity."

If George Lucas had written the Bible...

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Why god isn't listening...

'I finished doing the green plants around 11 pm on the sixth day, a Saturday I think...and the rest,as they say, is history.'

Minister's in/out boxes say sow and reap.

'Now they're not set in stone...'

"Honest man? No, I'm looking for a place to charge my phone."

Moses' Reading Glasses

God creating creationism.