Digital Theologian Gifts

"I don't need a book that records people's good and evil deeds. Nowadays I just check social media accounts."

The Googler

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'We've re-branded.'

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Fact amnesty"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

The Thinker (with a laptop).

Digito Ergo Sum.

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."