Divine Digitalist Gifts

'We've re-branded.'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

The Ordered List

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

The Thinker (with a laptop).

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

Digito Ergo Sum.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

'I blog, therefore I am.'

Think/Don't Think

'After 5 minutes it turns itself off and says: 'Get a life!''