Tech-savvy Parishioner Pillows

Follow God On Twitter

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

God's Phone

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'Does it come with any Apps'

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

"He calls it the eBible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"