Parka Aficionado Gifts

An Eskimo sits in a melting igloo, as a central heating van drives away.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Back to school.

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

The latest in Eyewear.

Mountain climbers find a family picnicing on top of the mountain

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

Sex Section in the Library

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

"Darling, I love how you've curated yourself."

"I don’t care if you are a noodle. I love you."

"At ease!"

Pandas talk about the P.M.'s visit to China.

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Party Party!

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

All I can say is, thank goodness for nametags. Penne. Bowtie. Ziti. Fettuccini. Rotini. Campanelle.

Training Polo Ponies

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''

'Now, shake, boy, shake...'

"Muroski, I said we need a couple more POKER players..."

"That salesman was right. This company does ship orders fast!"