Parcel Aficionado Gifts

"That salesman was right. This company does ship orders fast!"

Peter Mandelson.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

Free love

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

An Eskimo sits in a melting igloo, as a central heating van drives away.

Cat Delivery

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

Sundial watch...

A postal worker opens a bag of air mail.

Royal Mail Privatisation

'Careful! Don't drink this here grape juice they're servin'. I've had three bottles now, and my head's a spinnin'.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

'I'm not fat, doc. I just drank this expensive import beer, and now I want to keep it for a while.'

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

'Fred, your super jumbo spool of fishing line just arrived.'

Nail shop offers cell phone covers that match painted nails.

"That one goes particularly well with you tie."

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

Airmail box.