Parcel Aficionado Pillows

"That salesman was right. This company does ship orders fast!"

Peter Mandelson.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

Free love

Unknown moments in art history. Manet? This is Monet --- I got some of your mail again.

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

An Eskimo sits in a melting igloo, as a central heating van drives away.

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

GGGGG. F. E. It looks like the network is being upgraded.

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

Cat Delivery

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

'Careful! Don't drink this here grape juice they're servin'. I've had three bottles now, and my head's a spinnin'.'

Sundial watch...

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

A postal worker opens a bag of air mail.

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

'I'm not fat, doc. I just drank this expensive import beer, and now I want to keep it for a while.'

Royal Mail Privatisation

'Fred, your super jumbo spool of fishing line just arrived.'

Nail shop offers cell phone covers that match painted nails.

"That one goes particularly well with you tie."