Park Ranger Of Parenting Gifts

"It's nice to get out of the house and yell at my kids somewhere else for a change."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Bitchbark Canoe

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Playing Fetch.

"Bond James, Bond."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."