Parenting Pathfinder Gifts

"Sorry, but babies don't come with a years worth of customer support."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

Scurile travels

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'My kids don't understand me.'

'He was raised by sparrows!'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

Tourist Directions

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Looks like Timmy got solitary.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'

Baby Philosophy.

How?

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

'We usually have some trouble getting organized the first day of school.'

Ingredients: me