Parenting Challenges Enthusiast Gifts

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'The child is very illogical'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Suffering from Cooties?

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Growth Charts

I love my family!

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

It's a Boy

Mother CareBaby Gap

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Crying baby

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

Early childhood development

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Lemming mothers

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."