Parenting Aficionado Gifts

"How are her scores?"

The Advantages of Working from Home

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"More aphorisms, please!"

Lemming mothers

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"I'm taking the fifth."

I love my family!

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'There's lots of fine,honest,upstanding young men out there and she takes up with a banker!'

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"I can't believe you two broke up..."

'Honey! It's for you...'

'Is this a bad time to discuss the birds and the bees.'

"Ah, the carefree days of youth."

The Motherhood

"The idea is to stick art on the refrigerator, not carve it in."

"I'm warning you, young lady. You've got to the count of three before I say 'I'm not kidding'."

"I still don't get 'why' Daddy, but anyway, once we've crossed to the other side, won't this side became 'the other side'?"

"Hey dad, can I borrow the wheel tonight?"

'Why didn't Little Riding Hood get an order of protection against the wolf?'

"Mother, please! I can spoil my own child."

"Wait, is this a playdate?"

"Timmy, tell me the truth. Did you snack before dinner?"

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

"The sound of your mom falling asleep wakes you up too?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Any idea where our 4-year-old daughter picked up the expression ‘idle oaf of a husband’?"

Snooki employs her children, Lorenzo and Giovanna, to announce that she will be raising her next child gender neutral.

"I dislike you both the same."

Honk the Horn, Daddy

Next tantrum: 4pm

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."