Parenting Enthusiasts Gifts

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

'I learned in school today that you two have been living your lives all wrong.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"I hope by the time I'm old enough to have kids, they'll be self-cleaning."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'My labor with Jenna was a snap...'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

New Fathers taking a number to pick up a baby from Maternity

"Ooh, look, his first text message."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

I'm into attachment parenting. What's that? Making your whole life revolve around the child 24/7, and breastfeeding it till it's a toddler. It's all the rage. I see. HOJ. I see one big problem with this. Way ahead of you. I've ordered a French orphan. You don't have breasts.

Next On The Agenda

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'The child is very illogical'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Whoa

Suffering from Cooties?

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

I love my family!

Growth Charts

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Toddler Feeding Solutions