Parental Challenges Enthusiast Gifts

Mother Love is Without Logic

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Growth Charts

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

It's a Boy

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Crying baby

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Early childhood development

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"My first Father's day!"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'I never believed in spanking children - until today!'

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'