Parenting Challenger Gifts

"It's my youth, and I don't have to enjoy it if I don't want to."

'But daddy can be interactive, too.'

Smacking Machine.

'Sixty eight seconds. Pretty weak, Dad.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Suffering from Cooties?

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Yummy Mummies

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

Fathers are Heroes

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

The relay race

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Oops.

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."