Parenting Challenger Pillows

"It's my youth, and I don't have to enjoy it if I don't want to."

'But daddy can be interactive, too.'

Smacking Machine.

'Sixty eight seconds. Pretty weak, Dad.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Yummy Mummies

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

Fathers are Heroes

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

The relay race

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Oops.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

Daughter/psychiatrist

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

'That's enough Rusty.'