Parental Challenger Gifts

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Yummy Mummies

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"I'm the kind of woman nobody calls pumpkin."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'From what you describe, it looks like it's my dad who has the Maternal Instinct...'

Business men line up at the police station

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

''The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'? -- How patriarchal can you get?'

"You can't come out and play because you have to tidy your room? Man, it's time you cut the apron strings."

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

Mother Love is Without Logic

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

Election

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

Smacking Machine.

'After the day I've had at the office, I'm expected to stir my own tea!'

The Baby in the Theatre

'It's all over! Warm up the bus!'

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"