Parental Challenger Gifts

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Yummy Mummies

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"I'm the kind of woman nobody calls pumpkin."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

Foreclosed

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'From what you describe, it looks like it's my dad who has the Maternal Instinct...'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

Business men line up at the police station

''The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'? -- How patriarchal can you get?'

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

"You can't come out and play because you have to tidy your room? Man, it's time you cut the apron strings."

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

Mother Love is Without Logic

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

Election

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

'After the day I've had at the office, I'm expected to stir my own tea!'

Smacking Machine.

The Baby in the Theatre

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"