Childhood Challenger Gifts

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"It'll take him that long to finish it!"

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

"My mom wants you to dispense my happy pill just before I get on the bus for home."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'Prove it.'

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

'It's your little son complaining about the babysitter's noisy party!'

Moral Ambiguity

Poker Moms

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

Marcie's inner child chose an unfortunate moment to emerge.

Careers Advice

Baby on a potty holding up a No.2 sign.

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

Smacking Machine.

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

Look, I just prescribe the stuff. I can't tell you how to open the bottles.

"Well, I'd say you were exactly the type of employee we're looking for!"

Ant Girl

'Did Dr. Spock ever write anything about how to handle PARENTS?'

'Clarence, it's always an inspiration to see you playing with pain.'

'Sixty eight seconds. Pretty weak, Dad.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

"It's my youth, and I don't have to enjoy it if I don't want to."

Christian school student tries to change subject.

My new year's resolution is to ask Jimmy Doohan's sister to hold hands with me. Mine is to tell Jimmy Doohan's sister where your hands have been, so she'll hold hands with me instead