Childhood Challenger Gifts

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"It'll take him that long to finish it!"

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

"My mom wants you to dispense my happy pill just before I get on the bus for home."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

'Prove it.'

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

'It's your little son complaining about the babysitter's noisy party!'

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

Moral Ambiguity

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

Careers Advice

Marcie's inner child chose an unfortunate moment to emerge.

Poker Moms

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

Smacking Machine.

Look, I just prescribe the stuff. I can't tell you how to open the bottles.

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

"Well, I'd say you were exactly the type of employee we're looking for!"

'Sixty eight seconds. Pretty weak, Dad.'

'Did Dr. Spock ever write anything about how to handle PARENTS?'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

Ant Girl

'Clarence, it's always an inspiration to see you playing with pain.'

"It's my youth, and I don't have to enjoy it if I don't want to."

Christian school student tries to change subject.

'no... NO!'

"Must you treat me like a child?"