Education Challenger Gifts

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Mental Health System Breakdown

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Another shot heard round the world.

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'