Academic Challenger Gifts

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"I can answer searching questions, I can answer trick questions, and I can answer penetrating questions, but test questions give me a lot of trouble."

Exam grade F. Yeah, this planetarium really makes me feel insignificant.

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I don't do well on standardized testing. I blame it on standardized tests."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"I should think they have been scrapped. There was never any need for them in the first place."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Bee Chess

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

Contest to enter the University

"Baldo, I'm proud of you for admitting you were wrong, but remember...a man who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything."

"Spell 'flower'" "F-L-O-W-E-R" "Spell 'onomatopoeia'" "This contest is rigged"

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

"Of course, I could be wrong."

'Well, you're lousy at Maths, but I'm sure you'll become a great CEO one day...'

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

Mathematicians' put down.

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

"No idea how I'm going to spin this."

"Dad, I made a mistake. A big mistake."

'My client is advised not to answer that question.'