Family Challenger Gifts

...at least I won the bet with my precosious ballet dancing Granddaughter!

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

Tension filled the tent.

Too much cilantro

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"It'll never be ready in time."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

'I'd like to see him do that with your cooking...'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Annual caring for elderly parent marathon.

"Come on, let me see the picture."

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

"How come we have so many cookery books cluttering up the kitchen?...I mean, you obviously don't read any of them."

"It's the last of the Chef's Special. He says he'll arm-wrestle you for it."

"You're the one who should be 'Time's' man of the year."

Smacking Machine.

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

"I found myself in a strange place after my divorce - I think it was the kitchen."

'Whatever this was, the reconditioning hasn't done it any good.'

'Dinner.'

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

'It's worse than Jehovah's Witnesses - it's your mother and your mother's mother !!'