Parenthood Storyteller Gifts

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Acclaimed mother.

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'How many fingers do you see?'

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

IVF assessment centre.

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."

Please take a number.

Maternity Arrivals

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

Stork Story.

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'Two heads are better than one'?"

'I dressed myself.'

"Your baby is fine, but we're keeping her overnight as a precaution. Here's a loaner."