Parenthood Storytime Enthusiast Gifts

'Yeah, but how does the stork get into the maternity ward?'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'