Parenthood Storyteller Pillows

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Acclaimed mother.

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

IVF assessment centre.

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

Please take a number.

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

Maternity Arrivals

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

Stork Story.

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

"We discussed a lot of options but decided on a water birth."

'I dressed myself.'