Parenthood Adventures Pillows

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

Please take a number.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I'll never watch Alien again!!

"Stop complaining -- you'll grow into it."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'How many fingers do you see?'

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

Maternity Arrivals

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

The relay race

They Removed my Brain.

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"