Parental Role Enthusiast Pillows

Baby, baby maker

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

'From what you describe, it looks like it's my dad who has the Maternal Instinct...'

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

"I find it very significant that you would rather play house."

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

Next On The Agenda

'I won't meet your demands for an allowance increase, so maybe you should become a free agent.'

'You can go play at Kevin's house if it's all right with your attorney.'

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

"Shouldn't you be reading a book?"

"Just remember, we switch back before we get to town."

"Yes, it is an impressive collection. I was just wondering if you have any trophies which aren't from your Mum."

"I'm afraid you could do better work in order to get your daughter into this school."

'They're little wonders-they got my husband up and out of the house in no time!'

'I learned in school today that you two have been living your lives all wrong.'

"I hope by the time I'm old enough to have kids, they'll be self-cleaning."