Parental Role Juggler Pillows

'They're little wonders-they got my husband up and out of the house in no time!'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

Baby, baby maker

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Decorating with Children

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

The relay race

Oops.

'From what you describe, it looks like it's my dad who has the Maternal Instinct...'

"Good news, hon. They defunded Planned Parenthood."

"It was at this point that our wives left us."

'I was told you were looking for a man of many hats.'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'That's enough Rusty.'

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"

'It's a model to study stress...these mice all have long commutes, dead end jobs and out of control kids.'