Parenting Jugglers Pillows

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'...The world does revolve around our child!'

Oops.

"I've decided to work from home today."

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

"My kids are safely tucked away in the overhead bins."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Old Man Playing Alongside Baby.

'That's enough Rusty.'

'Still can't find a day care center?'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Nappy Hour 2-3.

"I don't need your business advice. You're my dad. Your job is to parent."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Decorating with Children

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

The relay race

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

You're supposed to read him a bedtime story at HIS bedtime.

"Good news, hon. They defunded Planned Parenthood."

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"It was at this point that our wives left us."

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"I couldn't find a sitter."

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers