Parent-life Jugglers Pillows

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Working hours.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

Laptop Dancing.

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

The Buck Never Stops.

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'I'll be late for dinner Dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Email Notifications

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"People just don't realise how stressful this job is. . . I used to have hair!"

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"Excuse me, dear...the rickshaw phone...."

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

They're behind me aren't they?

"What's this about having time off to spawn?"

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

Break Glass in Case of Stress