Parent Juggling Work And Home Life Pillows

"It's Take Your Child to Work Day."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Still having problems finding day care?'

'It's all right, I'm just a little behind.'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

'We need a dog!'

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

Working Moms

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'