Busy Parent Pillows

Three favourite words: Back to school.

"I've lost track, am I taking you to basketball practice, hockey practice, wrestling practice or band practice?"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

Parents' social calendar and kids' social calendar.

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Of course I'm upset! -- All 479 of them forgot Mother's Day!'

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

'Yes, honey. I'm preparing the kids' dinner.'

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

“Worst. Playdate. Ever.”

'We need a dog!'

'The wife's into convenience foods.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

"Short legs Mommy... Remember short legs!"

"It's not fast food. It's food that stops me from having a nervous breakdown when I have no time to make dinner."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."