Busy Parents Pillows

"Dad, can we take part in the YMCS's 'Father and son' initiative?" "I'm busy, ask your Mum"

"I'm in the Maclaren, where are you?"

'It works better than the pacifier.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'We need a dog!'

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

Working Moms

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'