Busy Parents Pillows

"Dad, can we take part in the YMCS's 'Father and son' initiative?" "I'm busy, ask your Mum"

"I'm in the Maclaren, where are you?"

'It works better than the pacifier.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'We need a dog!'

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

Working Moms

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'