Parenthood Jugglers Pillows

"Good news, hon. They defunded Planned Parenthood."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Baby pram as a tank

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

'How many fingers do you see?'

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Decorating with Children

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

Family Home.

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

The relay race

'I kinda did.'

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

'Evan, I think your little sister may be trapped in there with you!. . . Jennifer! Are you in there, honey?'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Oops.

Hormones before and after pregnancy.

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

Insomnia.